Inside the Walled City of My Soul

I am afraid of human touch

Lest it transforms into an addiction

I am afraid of the shackles of emotion

Lest it hampers my flight

I am afraid of friendship

Lest it exposes the satanic tendencies in me

I am afraid of empathy

Lest it enables anyone and everyone to step into my shoes

I am afraid of sympathy

Lest it compels someone to be nice to me

I am afraid of trust

Lest it makes someone vulnerable to pain

I am afraid of compassion

Lest it kills my passion for winning

I am afraid of humanity

Lest it kills the 'me' in Me

I am only afraid inside the walled city of my soul

On the outside I am fearless and confident

Lest the world shall deem me a coward.

The Forgone Road

Long time ago, I walked those roads
I met faces, met souls, met minds
I saw life in people and people in their lives
I saw friends in strangers and strangers in friends
I saw happiness in sorrows and sorrows in joy
I saw the angel in devils and the devil in angels
And those are the roads I tried to search my 'self' on
But I wasn't there, I was somewhere else
Somewhere where everything had infinite dimensions
Depths beyond the understanding of mortals
Breadth beyond the scope of knowledge acquired in just one life
Length beyond what the eyes can ever see
Thats where I was; hidden, safe and untouched by the world
Like a precious pearl in an oyster, waiting to adorn the neck of a beautiful girl
Or to bejewel someone's finger in a ring that would bond me for eternity
And the road to that place was through those roads I walked long time ago
But those sights are not for me, those roads are not for me
So no longer is there a hope to unite with my 'self'
No longer is there a hope for redemption
No longer is there a hope to adorn the neck of a beautiful woman
Or a hope to bejewel a finger and remain there for eternity.........

The longing for love

Once bitten, twice shy? Definitely not true for me

I always tend to make the same mistakes, The ones which are bound to bring me misery

These open arms are not meant to be, This foolish heart is not meant to care

No matter how much I play by the rules, This cruel world will never play me fair

Trust and faith are hollow words, They are good to talk about on a moonlit night

When two minds engage in aimless chatter,With fingers entwined in fingers of the other

But when it comes to living up to them,Those hands disappear like the morning dew does by afternoon

And these disappointments, these unfulfilled promises, These half-hearted expressions of superficial emotions,

These unsatisfied desires for genuine care have taken their toll on me,

Like my name, I have ended up like a garland of yellow roses

Paled by the agony, the anguish and the pain of waiting; Waiting for a day when I find love in the true sense of it

When love will not be what shall be demanded of me, But love is what shall unintentionally flow from my soul

When I shall not demand to be loved, But when I shall feel the love without having to give it a thought

When there wont be hollow promises and half-hearted emotions, But honest confessions and deeply felt commitment to care

Till then, I shall only dream of blooming like a blood red rose, Red with the color of love and passion

And continue living the life of a garland of yellow roses, Pale and waiting for time to fill its petals with emotions

In Brindavan

Where in a million faces he smiles
Lost in the hues of pink, red and green
Where he watches with awe-struck gaze
As in one life he lives the lives of so many
Where in saffron and water and turmeric and petals
There are scents of joy and excitement and exhilaration
Where he sings in their songs, he swings in their dance
Where the colors of love from places far away converge into him
And from those very colors he emerges, serene and divine
Where the sweet notes of the flute and the thumping drum celebrate his love
And the voices sing hyms of his innocence
Where the flowers still adorn the path
Where his lover and him walked years ago
And in the silence of the night still walk
In Brindavan where his love is still alive
Where his soul can still be experienced
Where in the smiles of a million people you can see him smile
That is where I found my 'Krishna', that is where I found the elixir of life